You’ve sent the text. They replied with a smiley. You showed up. It happened. And now? You’re left wondering if that was just sex-or something more complicated.
Booty calls aren’t new. But in 2025, they’re more common, more confusing, and way less taboo than they used to be. No one’s pretending it’s romance. No one’s handing out roses. But that doesn’t mean it’s simple.
What Exactly Is a Booty Call?
A booty call is when someone reaches out-usually late at night, sometimes after a few drinks-with one clear goal: sex, with zero expectations afterward. No dates. No texts the next day. No "how was your week?" Just physical connection, no strings attached.
It’s not dating. It’s not flirting. It’s not even really friendship. It’s a transaction, but one where both people pretend it’s casual because saying "I just want to fuck you" feels too blunt. So they say "you free tonight?" instead.
And here’s the thing: it works. For some people. In the short term.
Why Do People Do It?
Let’s be honest-there are reasons.
Some folks are busy. Work, kids, side hustles. Dating apps feel like a second job. A booty call? It’s efficient. No small talk. No ghosting drama. Just a quick release.
Others are emotionally guarded. Maybe they got burned. Maybe they’re still healing. A booty call feels safe because there’s nothing to lose. No vulnerability. No "I love yous." No awkward "what are we?" conversations.
And then there’s the loneliness factor. You’re not looking for love-you’re looking for touch. Skin against skin. A laugh in the dark. Someone to hold you while you fall asleep. That’s not always about sex. Sometimes, it’s about feeling real for a few hours.
The Hidden Costs
Here’s what no one tells you: booty calls don’t stay clean.
One person thinks it’s purely physical. The other starts imagining a future. That’s how it usually goes. One text leads to two. Two leads to three. Soon, you’re checking their Instagram stories. You start noticing when they post a new photo. You wonder why they didn’t reply to your last message.
And then-boom-you feel something. And they don’t.
That’s the trap. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between physical closeness and emotional connection. Oxytocin doesn’t care if you agreed to "no strings." It still floods your system when you’re touched, held, kissed. And suddenly, you’re attached. They’re not.
Studies show that even in "casual" sexual encounters, over 60% of people report developing some level of emotional attachment-even if they swore they wouldn’t. That’s not weakness. That’s biology.
Is It Different in London?
In London, it’s everywhere. From Peckham to Primrose Hill, the city moves fast. People work long hours. They live alone. They’re tired. And they’re lonely.
There’s a quiet culture around it. You don’t see it on Instagram. You don’t hear it on podcasts. But in group chats, in late-night Uber rides, in the hushed tones of someone saying "I’m not dating anyone right now," it’s happening.
Some people call it "friends with benefits." Others say "hookup." But in practice? It’s the same thing. No labels. No rules. Just bodies.
What’s different here? The silence. People don’t talk about it openly. Not because it’s shameful-but because it’s messy. And no one wants to admit they got their heart tangled up in something they thought was simple.
When It Works
Yes, it can work. But only under one condition: both people are crystal clear-and honest.
Not "I think we’re on the same page." Not "I’m not looking for anything serious." But actual, direct conversation.
"I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m not going to text you tomorrow. I’m not going to ask you out. If you’re okay with that, cool. If not, don’t call me."
That’s the only way it stays clean.
And even then, it’s temporary. Most people who start with booty calls end up either moving on-or realizing they want more. And that’s okay. It’s not failure. It’s just human.
What to Watch Out For
Here are the red flags you might miss because you’re too busy enjoying the moment:
- They never initiate plans outside of sex
- You’re always the one texting first
- They avoid eye contact after
- You feel guilty afterward
- You’ve started lying to friends about who you’re seeing
- You check your phone right after they leave
If any of those sound familiar? You’re not crazy. You’re just human. And your brain is trying to make sense of something that was never meant to make sense.
What to Do If You’re Already In It
First, stop blaming yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong. You wanted connection. You got it-even if it wasn’t the kind you thought you wanted.
Now, ask yourself:
- Do I feel better or worse after these encounters?
- Am I avoiding something else-like loneliness, grief, or fear of rejection?
- Am I okay with the fact that they don’t feel the same way?
If the answer to the last one is "no," then it’s time to stop. Not because it’s wrong-but because you deserve more than a moment.
If the answer is "yes," then keep going. But be honest. With them. And with yourself.
Booty Call vs. Friends With Benefits
People mix these up all the time. But they’re not the same.
| Aspect | Booty Call | Friends With Benefits |
|---|---|---|
| Communication | Only when sex is needed | Regular texts, sometimes hangouts |
| Emotional Involvement | Minimal to none | Some friendship, occasional emotional support |
| Frequency | Irregular, spontaneous | More predictable, planned |
| Aftermath | Usually no contact | May still hang out as friends |
| Expectations | Explicitly no expectations | Unspoken emotional ties often form |
Friends with benefits sounds nicer. But it’s often just a booty call with more texting. And that makes the emotional fallout worse.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are booty calls healthy?
It depends. If both people are emotionally ready, fully consenting, and okay with zero attachment, then yes-it can be a healthy way to meet physical needs. But if one person is hoping for more, or if it’s masking deeper loneliness or insecurity, then it’s not healthy. It’s a bandage on a wound that needs real care.
Can you turn a booty call into a relationship?
Sometimes. But it’s rare. Most relationships that start this way collapse under the weight of unspoken expectations. If you want something more, say it early. Don’t wait until you’ve fallen for them. That’s when it gets painful.
Why do I feel guilty after a booty call?
Guilt usually comes from one of two places: either you broke a personal boundary (like lying to yourself about what you wanted), or you’re internalizing societal shame around casual sex. Neither is your fault. But it’s worth unpacking. Talk to someone you trust-or write it down. You’re not broken. You’re just human.
Is it okay to have a booty call if I’m single?
Absolutely-if it’s your choice, not your escape. Being single doesn’t mean you have to be celibate. But it does mean you should be intentional. Ask yourself: "Am I doing this because I want to, or because I’m afraid to be alone?" The answer tells you everything.
How do I end a booty call without drama?
Be direct, but kind. "I’ve enjoyed our time together, but I’m not looking to keep this going. I hope you understand." No over-explaining. No guilt-tripping. No "it’s not you, it’s me." Just honesty. And then-stop responding to their texts.
Final Thought
Booty calls aren’t the problem. The problem is pretending they’re simple.
You’re not a bad person for wanting touch. You’re not weak for feeling something after. And you’re not broken if you realize you wanted more.
What matters is this: know what you’re signing up for. And if you start to feel something? Don’t ignore it. Don’t shame it. Just face it. Because the only thing harder than a booty call? Realizing too late that you were never just looking for sex.
