You’ve probably heard the term booty call thrown around in movies, memes, or late-night chats with friends. But what does it actually mean in real life today? And why do so many people still use it-even in a world full of dating apps and open relationships?
Let’s cut through the noise. A booty call isn’t about love. It’s not about commitment. It’s not even really about romance. At its core, it’s a simple, no-frills arrangement: two people who’ve had sex before, know each other well enough to text, and agree to meet up for physical intimacy-with zero expectations beyond that.
Key Points
- A booty call is a casual, non-committal sexual encounter between people who already know each other.
- It’s not the same as a hookup with a stranger-you have some history, even if it’s minimal.
- Most people use it to satisfy physical needs without emotional pressure.
- It works only when both parties are clear, honest, and respectful.
- It can go wrong fast if one person starts wanting more.
What Exactly Is a Booty Call?
Think of it like this: you’ve been on a few dates with someone. You kissed. You had sex. You didn’t become a couple. You didn’t stop texting. You didn’t ghost each other. You just… moved on. But then, a few weeks later, you’re bored, lonely, or just in the mood-and you send a quick message: "Hey, you free tonight?"
That’s a booty call.
It’s not a date. You don’t go to dinner. You don’t talk about your childhood. You don’t exchange nicknames. You don’t plan a second time. You meet up, you do what you came to do, and you go your separate ways. No texts the next day unless you want to.
It’s not new. People have been doing this since forever. But now, with dating apps and social media, it’s easier than ever to keep someone in your circle without ever labeling them as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend."
Why Do People Use Booty Calls?
Let’s be real-most people don’t start a booty call because they’re looking for love. They do it because it’s convenient.
Imagine this: you’ve had a rough week. Your job is draining. Your friends are all in relationships. You’re tired of swiping on apps and getting ghosted. You know someone who’s hot, fun, and understands your vibe. You don’t want to explain your mood. You don’t want to plan a date. You just want to feel close to someone without the emotional weight.
That’s where a booty call comes in.
It’s low effort, high reward. No drama. No expectations. Just physical release and maybe a little comfort. Some people use it to avoid loneliness. Others use it to stay sexually active without the hassle of dating. And honestly? For some, it’s the only kind of intimacy they’re comfortable with right now.
How Is It Different From a Hookup or a Friends With Benefits?
People mix these terms up all the time. But here’s the difference:
- Hookup: Usually with someone you barely know. Might be a one-time thing. No prior relationship. Often happens at parties, bars, or through apps.
- Friends With Benefits (FWB): You’re actual friends. You hang out, text daily, maybe even watch movies together. Sex is just an added perk. The emotional connection is real-even if you deny it.
- Booty Call: You’re not really friends. You’re not dating. You’re not even really hanging out. You’re just… available for sex. Communication is minimal. Plans are last-minute. There’s no shared life outside the bedroom.
Booty calls are the most transactional of the three. You don’t care what they had for breakfast. You don’t ask about their family. You just want them naked and in your bed.
Where Do Booty Calls Happen in the UK Today?
In London, Manchester, Bristol, and even smaller towns, booty calls are everywhere. They’re not loud. You won’t see them advertised. But if you listen closely, you’ll hear them in the quiet texts after midnight.
Most happen in one of three places:
- One person’s flat: Usually the most common. It’s private, familiar, and low-pressure. You know the layout. You know where the towels are. You don’t have to explain yourself.
- A hotel room: For people who want to keep things anonymous. Maybe they live with roommates. Maybe they’re married. Maybe they just want to feel like they’re on vacation-even if it’s Tuesday night.
- A car: Rare, but it happens. Especially among younger people who want to avoid being seen together. It’s quick. It’s discreet. It’s not romantic-but it’s efficient.
There’s no "right" place. It’s all about comfort and safety. And honestly? Most people prefer the first option-because it’s the easiest.
How to Start a Booty Call (Without Making It Weird)
Starting one is easy. Keeping it clean is the hard part.
Here’s how to do it right:
- Know your person. Don’t text a coworker or your ex’s new partner. Pick someone you’ve already had sex with-or at least had strong chemistry with.
- Be direct but casual. "Hey, you free tonight?" works. "Wanna get together?" is fine. Don’t overthink it. Don’t send a novel.
- Set boundaries before you meet. Don’t wait until you’re in bed to say, "This is just sex." Say it before you even leave the house. "I’m not looking for anything more right now. Just thought you’d be up for it."
- Respect the silence. If they don’t reply, don’t push. If they say no, don’t take it personally. If they say yes, don’t assume they want to hang out tomorrow.
- Don’t text after. Not "goodnight," not "that was fun," not "we should do this again." If you do, you’re no longer doing a booty call. You’re doing something else.
That’s it. Simple. Clean. No games.
What Can Go Wrong?
Booty calls are great-until they’re not.
The biggest risk? One person starts feeling something.
It happens. You text every night. You start noticing little things-how they laugh, how they take their coffee, how they always leave the lights on. Suddenly, you’re waiting for their message. You’re checking their Instagram. You’re imagining what it’d be like to wake up next to them.
That’s when it breaks.
And when it does, it hurts. Because you didn’t sign up for this. You didn’t want to fall. You just wanted to feel good for an hour.
That’s why honesty is everything. If you feel something, say it. If you don’t want more, say it. If you’re not sure, say that too.
And if they start acting differently? Pull back. Don’t let guilt or fear keep you in a situation that’s no longer serving you.
Booty Call vs. Casual Dating: What’s the Real Difference?
| Aspect | Booty Call | Casual Dating |
|---|---|---|
| Communication | Minimal. Only when planning sex. | Regular. Texting, calling, sharing updates. |
| Meetups | Only for sex. No dinners, no walks. | Could be coffee, movies, or just hanging out. |
| Emotional involvement | None expected. Often avoided. | Some connection. May develop over time. |
| Duration | Usually short-term. Days to weeks. | Can last months. No pressure to define it. |
| Aftermath | No contact unless you want to. | May still hang out, even if not having sex. |
The biggest difference? Casual dating leaves room for connection. A booty call shuts it down.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is a booty call cheating if you’re in a relationship?
Yes. If you’re in a committed relationship-monogamous or otherwise-having a booty call without your partner’s knowledge and consent is cheating. Even if you think it’s "just sex," you’re breaking trust. Healthy relationships are built on honesty. If you want to explore non-monogamy, talk to your partner first. Don’t sneak around.
Can a booty call turn into a real relationship?
It can-but it’s rare, and it’s not the point. Most people who start with a booty call don’t want love. They want release. If feelings develop, that’s on you. Don’t blame the other person. If you want a relationship, start one. Don’t wait for sex to turn into something deeper.
Are booty calls unhealthy?
Not inherently. Like anything, it depends on how you do it. If you’re clear, respectful, and emotionally aware, it can be a harmless way to meet physical needs. But if you’re using it to avoid loneliness, numb emotions, or escape self-worth issues, it can become a crutch. Pay attention to why you’re doing it. If it’s making you feel worse afterward, it’s time to stop.
Do people still do booty calls in 2025?
Absolutely. Dating apps haven’t killed them-they’ve made them easier. People are more open about casual sex now, and many prefer it over the pressure of dating. In cities like London, where life moves fast and people are busy, booty calls are a practical solution. They’re not romantic, but they’re real.
How do you end a booty call without being rude?
Be simple. "Hey, I’ve been thinking-I don’t want to keep doing this anymore. I value our connection, but I need to focus on other things right now." You don’t owe them a long explanation. You don’t owe them a reason. Just be honest and kind. If they’re mature, they’ll understand.
Final Thoughts
Booty calls aren’t evil. They’re not shameful. They’re just another way people navigate sex and connection in a complicated world.
They work when both people are on the same page. They fail when one person starts wanting more-or when one person starts feeling less.
If you’re considering one, ask yourself: Am I doing this because I want to, or because I’m afraid of being alone? Am I being honest with them? Am I being honest with myself?
Because in the end, it’s not about sex. It’s about respect. For them. For you. And for the quiet, messy, human need to be close-even if only for a little while.
zulfa eliza
December 19, 2025 AT 13:11Okay but let’s be real-booty calls are just emotional avoidance with extra steps. You think you’re being ‘adult’ and ‘free,’ but you’re just scared to say, ‘I need someone to hold me.’ And then when you start craving their voice at 2 a.m., you pretend you didn’t mean to text them. We’re all just lonely humans in fancy clothes.
Krishna Prasad Regmi
December 19, 2025 AT 14:28This is actually one of the most balanced takes I’ve read on casual sex. No judgment, no drama-just clarity. People need to stop shaming each other for what works for them, as long as it’s honest. Respect boundaries, communicate plainly, and move on if it stops serving you. Simple as that.
Emmanuel Jolly
December 20, 2025 AT 18:41Oh wow, so now we’re romanticizing transactional sex like it’s some enlightened modern lifestyle? Next you’ll tell me soulmates are outdated and love is just a capitalist construct. You call this ‘honesty’? It’s emotional cowardice wrapped in a buzzword. People aren’t ‘just’ physical beings-we’re wired for connection. Pretending otherwise doesn’t make it true, it just makes you lonely with better texting habits.
And don’t give me that ‘no expectations’ nonsense. You think you’re not hoping they’ll text back? You think you’re not replaying that one laugh? Wake up. You’re not a robot. You’re a human who’s afraid to admit they want more.
And the ‘don’t text after’ rule? That’s not maturity. That’s emotional abandonment dressed up as boundaries. If you can’t even say ‘goodnight’ without it being ‘weird,’ maybe you’re not ready for any kind of intimacy at all.
This isn’t liberation. It’s isolation with a side of convenience.
becky cavan
December 21, 2025 AT 08:01Just say what you need. No guilt. No games. If you want connection, ask for it. If you just want to feel good, do that too. Both are okay.