You’ve probably thought about it: a late-night text, a shared laugh, a moment of physical connection without the weight of labels or expectations. That’s a booty call. And if you’re reading this, you’re not looking for romance-you’re looking for something real, but simple. Something fun. Something safe.
Let’s be honest: the idea of a booty call gets a bad rap. Pop culture paints it as messy, manipulative, or shallow. But in real life? For many adults, it’s just a way to connect physically without the pressure of dating. The trick isn’t avoiding booty calls-it’s learning how to have them without regret, drama, or risk.
What Exactly Is a Booty Call?
A booty call isn’t a date. It’s not a relationship. It’s not even necessarily a friendship. It’s a mutual agreement between two people to meet up for sex, with no strings attached-except the ones you both agree on upfront.
Think of it like borrowing a book: you know you’re going to return it. You don’t expect the owner to become your best friend. You just want to read it. Same here. You want physical closeness. They want the same. No hidden agendas. No future plans. Just now.
But here’s the catch: this only works when both people are clear, honest, and respectful. If one person starts expecting more, or if boundaries get blurred, things go sideways fast. That’s why the real skill isn’t asking for a booty call-it’s knowing how to set the tone so everyone walks away feeling good.
Why People Choose Booty Calls (And Why It’s Not Shameful)
Let’s clear the air: wanting casual sex doesn’t make you broken, desperate, or immoral. It makes you human.
People in London, New York, Berlin, or anywhere else with busy lives often don’t have time for slow dating. Maybe you just moved here. Maybe you’re recovering from a breakup. Maybe you’re single by choice and not interested in dating apps that feel like job interviews. A booty call gives you control. You decide when, where, and how often. No ghosting, no mixed signals-just clear, consensual agreement.
Studies show that adults who engage in consensual casual sex report lower stress levels and higher satisfaction with their sexual lives-*if* communication is honest. The key word? Consensual. Not one-sided. Not pressured. Not sneaky.
It’s not about avoiding commitment. It’s about choosing your own terms.
How to Make a Booty Call Safe-Not Just Physically, But Emotionally
Safety isn’t just about condoms and STI tests. It’s about emotional safety too. The biggest risks aren’t diseases-they’re misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and awkwardness.
Here’s how to avoid them:
- Start with a direct conversation. Don’t assume they know what you want. Say it plainly: “I’m not looking for anything serious. If you’re cool with that, I’d love to hang out sometime.”
- Match their energy. If they’re casual, great. If they start talking about future plans, pause. That’s a red flag. Don’t ignore it.
- Set boundaries early. “I don’t do overnight stays.” “I don’t share personal info.” “I don’t text after midnight.” Say it like you’re ordering coffee-not apologizing for it.
- Use protection every time. No exceptions. Even if you’ve been together before. STIs don’t care about your history.
- Meet in public first. Even if it’s just for coffee. You’re not checking their vibe-you’re checking their respect. If they show up late, dismissive, or pushy? Walk away.
And here’s a rule most people skip: Don’t mix alcohol with booty calls. Drunk decisions lead to messy mornings. Stay sober enough to say “no” clearly-if you need to.
Where to Find People for Casual Encounters (Without the Creeps)
Apps like Tinder and Bumble are full of people looking for dates, not just sex. But there are better ways.
Some people use Facebook groups for adults in London-like “London Casual Connections” or “SW1 Casual Meetups.” These aren’t sketchy. They’re moderated, with clear rules: no spam, no photos of genitals, no pressure.
Others use Reddit communities like r/CasualUK or r/LondonCasual. These aren’t for hookups-they’re for people who want to be upfront. You’ll find people who say things like: “Looking for a no-strings Friday night. Must be STI-tested in last 30 days.”
And yes-sometimes it’s just someone you already know. A coworker. A gym buddy. A friend from a book club. If there’s mutual attraction and clear consent, it can work. But tread carefully. Once you cross that line, the friendship changes. Make sure you’re okay with that.
Bottom line: don’t chase strangers on random apps. Look for communities where honesty is the norm.
What to Expect When You Actually Meet Up
Let’s say you’ve matched. You’ve talked. You’ve agreed on the terms. Now, what happens next?
Most people expect fireworks. But the reality? It’s often quiet. Comfortable. Maybe even a little awkward at first.
You might chat for 20 minutes. Share a drink. Laugh about something dumb. Then, if the vibe’s right, one of you says: “Want to keep going?” And if the answer’s yes, you move to the bedroom.
There’s no script. No choreography. Just two people being honest about what they want.
Afterward? Some people leave right away. Others stay for coffee. Some text a quick “thanks” the next day. Others don’t say anything. That’s fine. That’s the deal.
The only rule? If you feel weird afterward-like you’re second-guessing yourself-you didn’t set the right boundaries. Go back. Adjust. Try again.
How Much Does It Cost? (Spoiler: It Shouldn’t Cost Anything)
Booty calls are not paid services. If someone asks for money, it’s not a booty call-it’s sex work. And that’s a totally different thing.
Real booty calls are free. No gifts. No dinners. No “I’ll pay for your Uber.” That’s not casual-it’s transactional. And it changes the dynamic.
If you’re the one being asked for money? Say no. Don’t feel guilty. You’re not obligated to pay for someone’s time just because you’re having sex. That’s not mutual. That’s exploitation.
Same goes for you: don’t offer to pay. Don’t buy gifts. Don’t buy dinner. If you want to be generous, offer to cook something or bring a bottle of wine. But keep it light. Keep it equal.
Sex should never be bought. It should be shared.
Booty Call vs. Sugar Dating: What’s the Difference?
People mix these up all the time. Here’s the clear breakdown:
| Aspect | Booty Call | Sugar Dating |
|---|---|---|
| Primary Goal | Physical connection, no strings | Exchange of companionship for money/gifts |
| Payment Involved? | No | Yes-often regular allowances |
| Emotional Expectations | None | Often some level of emotional involvement |
| Frequency | Occasional, spontaneous | Regular, scheduled |
| Privacy Level | High-usually anonymous | Lower-often involves real names and social media |
| Legal Status | Legal (consensual adult activity) | Legal, but borders on transactional relationships |
If you’re looking for free, spontaneous, no-pressure sex? Go for a booty call. If you’re looking for someone to pay your rent or take you on trips? That’s sugar dating. They’re not the same. Don’t confuse them.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it okay to have a booty call with someone I work with?
Technically, yes-if both people are adults and consent is clear. But practically? It’s risky. Workplaces have policies for a reason. If things go wrong, it can ruin your job, your reputation, or your mental health. Unless you’re both prepared for that fallout, it’s not worth it.
What if I start liking them too much?
That happens. A lot. Casual sex triggers dopamine and oxytocin-your brain thinks you’re bonding. If you start wanting more, the best thing to do is pause. Take a step back. Talk honestly. Say: “I’m enjoying this, but I’m starting to feel more than I meant to. Let’s take a break.” Most people will respect that. If they don’t? You already know the answer.
How do I end a booty call without being rude?
Simple: “I’ve really enjoyed our time together, but I’m not looking to keep this going. I hope you understand.” That’s it. No over-explaining. No guilt-tripping. Just clear, kind closure. If they get upset? That’s on them-not you. You kept it honest from the start.
Do I need to get tested regularly?
Yes. Every 3-6 months if you’re sexually active with multiple partners. Even if you’re only having casual sex. STIs don’t care if you’re “just hooking up.” Free clinics in London like the Dean Street Clinic offer quick, anonymous testing. It takes 15 minutes. It’s free. Do it.
Can a booty call turn into a relationship?
Sometimes. But it’s rare-and risky. Most relationships that start as booty calls end in disappointment because one person changed the rules. If you want a relationship, say so upfront. Don’t wait until you’re emotionally invested. That’s not fair to them-or to you.
Final Thought: It’s Not About the Sex. It’s About the Respect.
Booty calls aren’t about being wild or rebellious. They’re about being honest. About knowing what you want-and having the courage to ask for it without apology.
When done right, they’re one of the most adult things you can do. You’re not hiding. You’re not pretending. You’re not playing games. You’re just being real.
So if you’re thinking about making a move-do it. But do it with your eyes open. Set your boundaries. Respect theirs. Protect your health. And never, ever let someone make you feel bad for wanting something simple.
Because sometimes, the most meaningful connections aren’t the ones that last forever. Sometimes, they’re the ones that feel perfect-right now.
